Witz des Tages!

[Ares]

.

[Perock]

http://toonhole.com/2016/06/gun-protection/

das einzig witzige ist der Kommentar unter dem Bild

''What a pussy. Shoot the two cops in front of you, run towards the protection of the police cars, steal the tank, become the king of the island.

I’ve done it lots of times, it’s really easy''

[pfalzi]

Ein Junge wird 15 und fragt seinen Papa, ob er mal so richtig Party machen darf und sich dabei auch besaufen darf. Darauf der Vater: "Na klar mein Sohn, aber übertreibe es blos nicht!"
Am nächsten Tag wacht der Junge mit lauter blauen Flecken auf. Er rennt zu seinem Papa und fragt, ob der ihn geschlagen hat.
Darauf der Vater: "Mein Sohn, wenn du morgens um 5 nach Hause kommst und Sturm klingelst ist das OK, wir waren alle mal besoffen!
Wenn du dann am Gang herumschreist und alle Mieter im Haus weckst, ist das OK.
Wenn du mich als Zuhälter beschimpfst, ist das OK.
Wenn du die Badewanne vollkotzt, ist das vielleicht auch noch OK.
Aber wenn du im Wohnzimmer mitten auf den Teppich scheißt, Soletti in den Haufen steckst und schreist: "Alter, der Igel wohnt ab jetzt auch hier!", dann ist das definitiv zu viel!

[dLTdT]

THE MUSLIMS ARE NOT HAPPY!

They're not happy in Gaza ...
They're not happy in Egypt ...
They're not happy in Libya ...
They're not happy in Morocco ...
They're not happy in Iran ...
They're not happy in Iraq ...
They're not happy in Yemen ...
They're not happy in Afghanistan ...
They're not happy in Pakistan ...
They're not happy in Syria ...
They're not happy in Lebanon ...


SO, WHERE ARE THEY HAPPY?

They're happy in Australia ...
They're happy in Canada ...
They're happy in England ...
They're happy in France ...
They're happy in Italy ...
They're happy in Germany ...
They're happy in Sweden ...
They're happy in the USA ...
They're happy in Norway ...
They're happy in Holland ...
They're happy in Denmark ...

Basically, they're happy in every country that is not Muslim and unhappy in every country that is!
AND WHO DO THEY BLAME?

Not Islam.
Not their leadership.
Not themselves.

THEY BLAME THE COUNTRIES THEY ARE "HAPPY IN!"

AND THEN; They want to change those countries to be like....
THE COUNTRY THEY CAME FROM WHERE THEY WERE UNHAPPY!

Excuse me, but I can't help wondering...
How **** can you get?
Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim Terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.

Lets have a look at the evidence:
- No Christmas
- No television
- No nude women
- No football
- No pork chops
- No hot dogs
- No burgers
- No beer
- No bacon
- Rags for clothes
- Towels for hats

- Constant wailing from someone in a tower
- More than one wife
More than one mother in law
- You can't shave
- Your wife can't shave
- Your wife is picked by someone else for you

Then they tell you that "when you die, it all gets better"??
Well no shit Sherlock!....

[sauersigi]

THE MUSLIMS ARE NOT HAPPY!

They're not happy in Gaza ...
They're not happy in Egypt ...
They're not happy in Libya ...
They're not happy in Morocco ...
They're not happy in Iran ...
They're not happy in Iraq ...
They're not happy in Yemen ...
They're not happy in Afghanistan ...
They're not happy in Pakistan ...
They're not happy in Syria ...
They're not happy in Lebanon ...


SO, WHERE ARE THEY HAPPY?

They're happy in Australia ...
They're happy in Canada ...
They're happy in England ...
They're happy in France ...
They're happy in Italy ...
They're happy in Germany ...
They're happy in Sweden ...
They're happy in the USA ...
They're happy in Norway ...
They're happy in Holland ...
They're happy in Denmark ...

Basically, they're happy in every country that is not Muslim and unhappy in every country that is!
AND WHO DO THEY BLAME?

Not Islam.
Not their leadership.
Not themselves.

THEY BLAME THE COUNTRIES THEY ARE "HAPPY IN!"

AND THEN; They want to change those countries to be like....
THE COUNTRY THEY CAME FROM WHERE THEY WERE UNHAPPY!

Excuse me, but I can't help wondering...
How **** can you get?
Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim Terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.

Lets have a look at the evidence:
- No Christmas
- No television
- No nude women
- No football
- No pork chops
- No hot dogs
- No burgers
- No beer
- No bacon
- Rags for clothes
- Towels for hats

- Constant wailing from someone in a tower
- More than one wife
More than one mother in law
- You can't shave
- Your wife can't shave
- Your wife is picked by someone else for you

Then they tell you that "when you die, it all gets better"??
Well no shit Sherlock!....

Wo ist da der Witz?


Aber weils grad passt...


Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einem Politiker
und einem Telefonhörer?
Den Telefonhörer kann man aufhängen, wenn man sich
verwählt hat...

[trenck]

"Papa, wo ist das Teil zum Kartoffelschälen?"
"Keine Ahnung, ich glaube, einkaufen."

[Hauni]

Warum gibt es in Kirchen keine Bienen?


Weil sie Insekten sind...

[JAGAS3P]

http://www.krone.at/wissen/seti-forsche ... ory-527184
Guckt die Leser-Kommentare zu dieser Story............ Da ist der eine oder andere Lacher (Witz des Tages) dabei !

[trenck]

"Sag mal, studierst Du eigentlich?"
"Ja, und zwar gleich drei Gegenstände: Soziologie, Publizistik und Genderwissenschaften!"
"Ein einfaches 'Nein' hätte genügt."

Trenck

[Phase_5]

"Mancher hinterlässt eine Lücke, die ihn ersetzt."

[martin_mk4]

Greets Martin

[Hauzi]

"Wo ist eigentlich der nervige Nachbar geblieben, von dem du mir erzählt hast. Ich sehe ihn gar nicht mehr."

"Der ist im Garten"

"Wo den?"

"Also man muss schon ein bisschen graben."

[JAGAS3P]

http://www.oe24.at/welt/Sicherheitsrisi ... /250290757
Made my Day !



EDIT: Krone zieht nach
http://www.krone.at/welt/bizarres-burka ... ory-528236

[gewo]

http://www.oe24.at/welt/Sicherheitsrisiko-ISIS-verbietet-die-Burka/250290757
Made my Day !

super-LOL

im ersten moment war ich sicher das ist ein tagespresse-artikel ....


und der ist aber echt!

[BigBen]

Es soll ja durchaus die eine oder andere Burka bzw. Niqab bei Missionen des SAS etc. im Spiel gewesen sein